It’s been 3.5 months since our return from US. Although I admit I wasn’t too keen to return when we did, I wasn’t so afraid either. It was a decision made and implemented without too much analysis around it. Life is US seemed a borrowed life. I knew it wasn’t mine to cling on to or to make any decisions around it.
However, I do miss the quiet and peace that I experienced in US. Don’t get me wrong- I am not talking about “inner peace”. I am still a long way off from it. However, the constant honking, screeching and myriad other sounds that assail you on Indian roads- a freedom from that chaos. In the same way as some foreigners get enamored by the chaos that India is, in that way, I got enamored by the quiet in US and after so many years I was able to sleep soundly during the night. Even if I was stressed out due to other reasons, I could still sleep comfortably there, drive to office in quiet and solitude and work in a conducive environment. (Well, sometimes I did miss the din in evenings and weekends- when I yearned to see more faces and people around! – even in as busy a place as Bay area)
That little piece of green- not common on most Indian roads!
Picture my life here- woken up in the morning by sounds coming from the road (100 m away), a wailing baby/kid from an adjacent apartment and sounds of clinking dishes as the maid washes them. I am not an early riser, though I try to be one sometimes (does waking up by 6:30 AM count as an early riser?).
While commuting to and from office, I travel by auto. The sounds, the fumes, the sights- even before I went to US, I was always depressed by these attacks on my senses. Today, for example, the auto I took- the driver drove rashly, braked suddenly- his auto was rickety and made a very high-pitched screeching sound as he braked. Due to all this, the songs of 90s that were playing on his music system, instead of being something fun, turned into a part of that cacophony around me. Then I work in an office (a 2nd storey house given to commercial tenants) near a busy interaction where people don’t have a second of patience when the light turns green, a dog which constantly barks 10 m away from my desk (in a neighbour’s home- near the office) and the cycle repeats on the way back to home.
It’s not about US. It’s just about a place where I can live a peaceful life- less cacophony, no pollution and some greenery and a water body nearby. This is all I want in my glass.
House of my Dreams!
PS: I also get annoyed by the smart-alecky comments I get from people when I share this vision with them.
PPS: I know this is a rant-y blog post. There are people who are able to write all good and positive stuff. I know one of them personally. But somehow, their life seems to be so much removed from the kind of choices others have to make about their life. And interestingly, I find that more than me, there are others who find that attitude more superficial than real. I know this may not make sense to you- a casual reader who has stumbled upon this blog. But if you do feel depressed by your situation sometimes- know it’s OK. You don’t have to believe in glass half full all the time.
Blues and other Colors 